Warrior Rule #16

It isn’t your job to figure out why things happen the way they do. It’s learning to navigate each experience while looking for the deeper meaning hidden beneath the surface.

Often times, we get so hung up on figuring out why things happen the way that they do, we miss the point. There is purpose in every event, every encounter, every moment of our lives.

However, if we are so focused on surface appearances, we miss what lies beneath. We don’t see the clear messages being sent. The lessons being offered. The nuggests of wisdom buried beneath the rubble of external circumstances.

When you have experiences, whether they feel good or they feel bad, they are reflections of you. They are pieces that you may not have otherwise seen. If you refuse to acknowledge those things, and learn from them, they will continue to resurface time and again.

The same dysfunctional relationships will show up. Issues with money. Addictions, sickness, and all manner of unpleasant manifestations. It’s when we’re brave enough to see our reflection and learn from it, that true progress can be made.

Many years ago, I came to a point in my life, that nothing felt like it was working. And I realized the only common denominator was me.

I decided to write a list of all the things I didn’t like.

It astonished me how long the list was by the time I was done.

After re-readng my list, I accepted (whether consciously or not) I created all of it. I took ownership, and by doing so, released my anger towards others who I felt had done me wrong. I let go of events that traumatized me. I accepted that each experience, whether I understood why it happened at the time, was serving as a reflection.

So I could see what needed to be changed.

I made it my mission, to address each thing on that list, and it took me three years to cross each one off. Now I have a new list, and some of those things on that old one have resurfaced.

However, instead of wasting my time wondering WHY, I put my focus on what the message is beneath the surface. What am I still missing? What am I doing or thinking or feeling that continues to create things I don’t want in my life.

I promise you, when you stop asking why and start looking for the greater purpose for the events unfolding, you’ll begin to understand the joy that comes from consciously designing a life you truly enjoy living.


There is no better time, than before the New Year to create your own list. I suggest starting with the smallest thing in your life you don’t like or wish you could change to the biggest.

Once you have that list, read it, and accept you created all of it and forgive yourself, others and any events which have caused you pain.

Then commit, to finding solutions and applying them.

Cross each thing off that list as you overcome it 🙂

Published by amiblackford

I'm a YA author-illustrator who loves character-drive stories with unique voices. I love writing stories that have something to say of value that my reader can take away and use in their own lives. I love to cook, dance, sing and spend time with my teenager and husband watching sci-fi and fantasy flicks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: