Warrior Rule #15

Put down the score card and learn to give freely without expectation of what you will receive in return

Tis the season for giving gifts.

However, if you are keeping score and a tally sheet when you give then you aren’t doing it from a place of abundance. You are giving to get a personal rush, and then attaching expectations that an equal amount should be given back.

And if it isn’t – resentment is created.

Sound familiar?

This has been a hard lesson for me to embrace. As a giver, I found myself gifting beyond my own means under the illusion I was doing that as an act of kindness. Now, while this felt true in the moment, I discovered down the road, if the same of equal value wasn’t returned, resentment would creep in. And in many instances, it ruined my relationships with those I gave to.

Giving is such a generous and loving expression.

But it’s only a positive exchange when it’s done with no expectation of a specific return.

So does this mean we should give endlessly to those who never return it to us? NO. One thing I’ve garnered as a giver, is that it does attract takers. People who have no issue with taking and never offer anything back. I am not condoning or saying you should particiapte in this level of giving.

Infact, through my own life experience, I’ve come to understand just how toxic a behavior this is. It means I’m not giving freely out of love. I give out of some sense of obligation, or need to help others, even if it puts me in a tight spot, for their acceptance.

Only give what you can with zero expectations.

If you give and it feels good to do so, then you know you are on the right path. If you give, and question it, or it puts you now in a position of not having enough for yourself, it’s time to take a look at WHY you feel compelled to participate in this corrosive dynamic.


Find someone or something to give you that has zero strings attached.

Resist giving (whether it’s money, time, focus) to someone or something that you feel is draining you.

Challenge yourself to decipher the difference between giving from the heart and ego.

Published by amiblackford

I'm a YA author-illustrator who loves character-drive stories with unique voices. I love writing stories that have something to say of value that my reader can take away and use in their own lives. I love to cook, dance, sing and spend time with my teenager and husband watching sci-fi and fantasy flicks.

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