Warrior Rule # 6

Silence your complaints, they are your burdens and should be carried alone.

Complaining is something we all do.

It’s our mind monster nitpicking every detail in our lives to reinforce that we are victims to circumstance and the world is simply an unfair place, doling out challenges that illustrate the injustice of it all.

When we find ourselves complaining, the first step is to acknowledge, you have a right to do so. You are observing something outside of you that isn’t in alignment.

Where most of us go wrong, is we fail to take the next step in evaluating what we’ve done, said, believed to cause the thing we are complaining about.

We blame external circumstances for our unhappiness and through doing this give all of our power over to those things we can’t control.

The more we complain, the more addicted to it we become. And the more hooked we are, determines the level at which we will infiltrate other’s lives with our complaints.

We do this to gain sympathy, compassion, and establish some sense of control in what feels like a chaotic system which seems to have it out for us.

We ask those listening to give us something that we are not giving ourselves. It is unfair to ask others to carry your burdens. We each have our own, so when we ask others, to tote our baggage, not only do we not gain the strength to carry our own, there’s no motivation to learn how to lighten our load.

There is a huge difference between complaining and speaking about a life circumstance you need help with.

The difference is simple to differentiate.

If you go to someone with a true challenge, you will first not ask them to solve it for you – you listen to whatever insight they may give and then use it to resolve the issue.

If you are a chronic complainer who is simply looking to feel justified in feeling bad, you will ask for guidance and then disregard it. You aren’t really looking for solutions, you simply want a soundboard for your problems because in that moment it provides temporary relief.

Inherently, complaining does not make us bad people. We are simply operating unconsciously and without realizing it, asking others to take on work that isn’t there own.

How do you shift from toxic complaining to healthy discussion of life challenges?

It begins with filtering what you feel compelled to share. And when you do decide to share, you make sure you’ve already gotten a healthy enough perspective that you can discuss it without burdening another.

Complaining is simply a red flag to us that our own perspective needs readjustment. The more aware of it you become, the more you can pick and chose your battles within yourself.

Once you do that, you can then transform complaining to others into connection and collaboration to help your own evolution.

Become conscious of your words, and how you use them throughout your day – and I promise you, the impact it will have on your inner dialogue and those you have externally will be life-changing.


For one week, at the end of each day, write your complaints down as opposed to vocalizing them. And then the following morning, look them over. Cross out the petty ones. And for the ones that are of importance, write a perspective or action you can take to transform your grievance into a gift.

Published by amiblackford

I'm a YA author-illustrator who loves character-drive stories with unique voices. I love writing stories that have something to say of value that my reader can take away and use in their own lives. I love to cook, dance, sing and spend time with my teenager and husband watching sci-fi and fantasy flicks.

4 thoughts on “Warrior Rule # 6

  1. What is something you have found yourself complaining about?

    For me, this pandemic has definitely brought up complaints, that as hard as I am trying, I am still allowing myself to overburden others with it – thankfully, I can feel my discomfort when I do this, so it’s now my mission to correct the behavior – and as I am doing that, I am beginning to feel better ❤


  2. I have no complaints but I had some worries…As I began my breathing technique I was reminded of all the struggles I overcame..Fire is what forges the sword and prepares it owner for war.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely! There is a difference between having challenges and complaining – complaining is placing ownership outside yourself – things are happening to you. When you are challenged, you recognize there are things that are happening but you are a participant and therefore in the power seat!

      Liked by 1 person

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